


Guy Stuff

by alangdorf



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Aqua and Terra are only mentioned, Blood is mentioned but it's not graphic at all, Everyone lives in the same house for no good reason, Gen, Menstruation, Mentioned Xehanort (Kingdom Hearts), Panic Attacks, Past Child Abuse, Sora's probably having a sleepover or something, This is my first fanfic aaaaaaaa, Trans Aqua (Kingdom Hearts), Trans Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Trans Terra (Kingdom Hearts), Trans Vanitas (Kingdom Hearts), Transphobia, Xehanort is a garbage human being, trans stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-01 23:29:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20266300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alangdorf/pseuds/alangdorf
Summary: The million-dollar question: is Vanitas bleeding to death?





	Guy Stuff

The nights were long and lonely after Ventus woke up from his ten-year nap. Every day at sunset, he quietly changed into his black and white pajamas, brushed his teeth, and nestled in under the covers for another ten hours of staring at the ceiling and being alone with his thoughts.

He had tried sleeping. He was certainly tired enough, but he didn’t seem to be physically capable of it anymore. He felt like if he closed his eyes, they may never open again. It was an irrational feeling, to be sure, but one strong enough to prevent him from sleeping altogether. Chirithy’s services were not needed, so it didn’t tend to stick around the whole night.

Ventus would have been content to stay up if it meant hanging out with Vanitas, but it seemed his brother wanted nothing other than to sleep most of the time, almost like a cat. He chuckled silently to himself at the thought. He’d have to tease Vanitas about that tomorrow after he woke up, presumably sometime after noon.

Unfortunately, Ventus was not nearly as inclined to sleep, so he sighed and continued staring at the dimly glowing stars on the ceiling. He reached down to the Flood sitting next to his bed and scratched it behind the... ears? Antennae? He wasn’t quite sure what to call them, but the Flood seemed to appreciate it. Vanitas still created Unversed occasionally, usually when upset or asleep, although they were mostly docile these days. The Floods especially acted like big cats. Just like their master, he supposed.

Suddenly, the Flood he was petting tensed and made a low growling noise. It padded over to Vanitas’ bed while Ventus considered whether to follow it. The Unversed tended to become agitated when Vanitas was stressed, such as by a nightmare. It might have been a good idea to wake him up, but before Ventus could decide on a course of action, Vanitas was already sitting up, his red eyes blinking into the darkness. He groaned and slumped over, head in his hands. This only concerned Ventus further, but he just rolled over in bed, not wanting to bother him. He hoped that if something was wrong, Vanitas would let him know. He wasn’t overly prone to sharing his feelings, but he did like bothering Ventus, and most times that was enough.

“Ventus!” As predicted, after a few minutes of increasingly intense groaning, there was a frantic rustling sound as Vanitas rushed across the room and hissed in Ventus’ ear. He was wearing the same t-shirt and shorts he always wore to bed, and his hair was sticking out in about twice as many different directions as it usually was. He was also clutching at his middle and staring with eyes wide at Ventus as he rolled over.

“What’s up?” He was a bit concerned over how agitated Vanitas looked. “You sick or something?”

The Flood trotted to Vanitas and poked its… snout? Nose??? (They really needed to figure out the Unversed’s anatomy, now that he thought about it.) into his side, prompting another gasp of pain. “I don’t know! I think… I think I’m dying!”

A couple of Scrappers followed them down the hallway as Ventus tried to drag Vanitas toward the kitchen.

“So you’re bleeding?” He gave the increasingly frazzled boy hanging from his shoulder a once-over, failing to spot any new injuries. “Where?”

Said boy’s ears flicked back and forth in irritation. “I don’t know, idiot! I just woke up and there was blood everywhere! It feels like I’ve been stabbed in the stomach with a rusty keyblade!”

“Did something reopen? How old are your wounds?”

“It’s been like ten years! Look, either you get me some of that cura stuff or you leave me to die a slow and agonizingly painful death; it’s your call, Ventus!”

“What’s this about a painful death?”

Sora stood in the kitchen, drinking something while leaning against the counter in a red graphic t-shirt and plaid flannel pants. As could be expected, his hair was only slightly less messy than Vanitas’, and only by virtue of being shorter. His concerned expression peered at them from over the top of his mug as they entered the kitchen and fell silent. The Scrappers scrambled past them and ducked under the table. Sora raised an eyebrow and glanced pointedly at Ventus, hopeful for an explanation.

In return, Ventus sighed and unslung Vanitas’ arm from around his shoulder, ignoring his squeak of protest as he was shrugged onto the floor and gestured at. “Vanitas here is convinced that he’s bleeding to death, but he doesn’t look hurt and there’s certainly no blood that I can see.”

“I told you, my sheets are covered in blood!”

“We didn’t even turn the lights on, though?”

“Just because you people are blind in the dark doesn’t mean I am! Did you forget I’m literally made of darkness?!”

Sora nearly choked on what could only be hot chocolate. Cocoa powder and whipped cream still littered the counter behind him. “Oh! I can’t believe I forgot to let you know where everything is earlier! I even started mine today too; I’m such an airhead! There should still be plenty of pads underneath the sink in the upstairs bathroom for you to use.” He flashed a typical Sora smile as though he hadn’t just said the most baffling sequence of phrases known to man.

Vanitas gaped at Sora from where he was still lying in a very uncomfortable position on the floor. “What in the name of Kingdom Hearts are you even talking about?” Ventus carried an equally blank expression.

Sora’s grin faded as he set down his hot chocolate. “Do you guys not know what… menstruation is?”

“I have literally never heard that word before!” Vanitas scrambled up to a sitting position before groaning again and doubling over. The other two boys tried their best to help him into a chair. Ventus thought he might recall what this was about, and seeing his brother in pain on the floor, he scooped Vanitas up and deposited him in the chair. Even after several weeks living with the rest of them, he was still appallingly light.

He set his face on the table and moaned. “Whatever it is, does it always hurt this much?”

“Unfortunately, yeah.” Sora turned back to the counter and took another two mugs down from the cabinets. “Hot chocolate may not help a ton physically, but it certainly makes me feel better emotionally.”

“Oh great, just what I needed.” Vanitas rolled his eyes as best he could with his forehead on the edge of the kitchen table. “Not like I’d prefer a healing spell or anything. Hot chocolate is perfect.”

Ventus pouted in his general direction. “Please ignore him. He’s still working on using sarcasm as a form of humor instead of disrespect. We’d love some hot chocolate!” Vanitas turned his head to shoot a withering glare. “Oh please, you love chocolate.”

“I do not.”

“Oh really? Then what happened to all the candy we were storing on top of the refrigerator, hm? Did a Flood eat it all?” He grumbled as he pressed his face back into the tabletop. “Thought so.” Ventus smirked. 

“So anyway,” Vanitas muttered from his spot on the table, “am I bleeding to death?”

“Not... exactly?” Sora finished stirring the hot chocolate and set down his spoon in the sink. “Wow, I was not prepared to be having this conversation tonight,” he murmured. He turned back toward the table after applying whipped cream. “So basically, every month your uterus has to shed its lining for... reasons. And it - so yeah, you bleed a lot for a few days. It gets everywhere no matter what you do and it feels like your gut is trying to destroy itself, which it kind of is. Oh, and…” He set the two mugs of hot chocolate down and joined them at the table. “Healing spells and potions don’t help, since it’s a normal bodily function. It pretty much sucks.”

Despite his earlier protests, Vanitas gripped the mug like a life preserver in the middle of a storm. He frowned. “... I don’t follow.”

Ventus suddenly recalled a conversation from over a decade ago. “Oh, I remember! Terra used to complain about that all the time. He ruined, like, five pairs of hakama.”

“Yeah, Aqu- wait, Terra?” Sora’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Yeah, I guess it would be Terra…” Vanitas continued to look on in poorly-concealed bewilderment.

Ventus, oblivious as to the oddity of his statement, continued. “It’s just kind of a normal thing for some people.”

Ventus glanced over as Vanitas, rather ill-advisedly, took a hasty gulp from his mug.

He yelped and quickly set it back on the table. “Hey! You didn’t tell me it would be this hot!”

“It is called hot chocolate, y’know,” Ventus responded while taking a careful sip from his own cup. “What determines who gets a period, though? Because I’ve never had it, as far as I know.”

Sora hesitated, as if choosing his words carefully. “Well, it’s usually a thing for, uh... girls.”

Vanitas tucked his knees up to his chest and stared at the floor, where the Scrappers that had taken residence under the table seemed to be playing some eldritch version of rock paper scissors. “... Oh.”

Meanwhile, Ventus’ brain was busy trying to catch up. “Wait, But you’re not... wait, what?”

Sora took a deep breath. “We - Vanitas and I, I mean - are both transgender. Terra and Aqua are too.” He thought for a minute, then backpedaled cautiously. “...Do you know what trans means?”

Ventus considered this while flicking his gaze over to his brother, who was still intensely studying the kitchen tiles. “They only mentioned it a few times, but Aqua and Terra did tell me that they used to be other way around, gender-wise, before I knew them. Is that the same thing?”

Sora sighed, also casting a cursory glance at Vanitas. “Yeah, that’s right.”

Curious, Ventus slowly placed his elbows on the table and dropped his head into his hands. “So you used to be a girl, too? Like Terra?”

“Yes, I was technically born a girl,” Sora conceded as he picked up his hot chocolate mug from its spot on the table. “Although, as long as I can remember, I’ve known I was actually a boy. My parents were pretty chill about it, and Kairi and Riku have never known me to be anything else, so I’m pretty lucky, all things considered.” He shrugged casually, finishing off the dregs of his mug as he did so. “I haven’t had any major issues, aside from period cramps and, like, dysphoria.”

“What’s dysphoria?”

“Well, that’s a can of worms I’d prefer not to open right now.”

Ventus thought better of it and changed the subject.

“What about Vani? He used to be... well, me.”

“We’re practically identical, aside from the obvious coloration differences and the whole darkness thing. I guess we share more than just a face. Although, we still haven’t had a chance to sit down and had a conversation about it. If he didn’t know he was on his period, I guess we need to. Right, Vani?”

Instead of the snarky comeback Ventus expected, there was no response. He looked over in confusion.

“...Vanitas?”

-

“...Oh.”

So that’s what this was about.

Although sufficiently distracted by the unending agony of his own existence, it didn’t take him long after becoming sentient to realize something had changed. Several things had changed, of course, but first and foremost was the fact that he had somebody else’s body entirely. It didn’t matter what kind of body it was, just that it wasn’t his. He wasn’t Ventus anymore. He couldn’t bring himself to care about the rest. Someone else, though, seemed to find his predicament darkly amusing.

He remembered talking back for the first time, insisting that he still be referred to as a boy.

“Very well, girl. But you’ll have to convince me. You can start by getting rid of that ridiculous skirt.”

In one of his first acts of defiance, he refused. He was met with a dismissive scoff and an eyeroll, but no other repercussions. Until training the next day, of course, when he received two broken limbs and a stab wound to the gut.

He remembered the last time he fell asleep with his helmet off, waking up with his head screaming at him, fingers tangled in his long, black hair, being hoisted up by only his scalp.

“Cut your hair, girl. If you want to pretend to be a boy, at least make an attempt to look like one.”

Choking on his tears as he was unceremoniously tossed to the dirt, knowing that each one he let fall would mean another slash deep into his skin.

He remembered No Name pinning him by the throat, hastily teleporting across the desert, throwing a desperate strike at an undefended back only to be effortlessly knocked from the air, a searing pain in his side as he bled out on the sand. A humorless laugh floating above him.

“You are still weak, girl. At this rate, you will never be strong enough to forge the x-blade. And what good is a useless apprentice?”

A boot heel digging into his wound, a losing struggle to stay conscious. By the time he came to, the sand around him had been stained black and Unversed were swarming just outside his field of vision. His hands shook as he summoned his keyblade, but he gripped it tightly enough to leave bruises as he stalked towards his monsters, ready to destroy himself all over again.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he was spiraling, swallowed up in a time that was firmly in the past. But these memories were too much for him. No matter how many Unversed he created, no matter how many emotions he tore out of his heart, it would never be enough to escape that man.

He could almost feel fingers sinking into his shoulders like claws, a gloved hand tightening around his neck from behind. His heart, or the fractured thing in his chest that passed for one, skipped a beat and then stopped entirely. A horribly familiar chuckle reverberated low in his ears.

“Foolish girl. All that you have ever been is an abomination. You don’t even deserve my pity.”  
The hand caught his jaw guard, pressing its metal edge against his skin and forcing him to look into a pair of cold, yellow eyes, identical to his own. He wanted desperately to run, but he couldn’t move, couldn’t look away, couldn’t even breathe in their presence. The cuts marring his face, the gashes in his arms, the X carved into his back over and over and over again, burned like ice. Darkness encompassed his whole world, broken only by those sickening yellow eyes.

A cruel sneer broke over his Master’s face, and every word he spoke was the unquestionable truth.

“You don’t deserve anyone’s pity.”

-

Vanitas was completely curled in on himself, clutching at his shoulders and nearly hyperventilating. His ears were flattened to the side of his head and his pupils had contracted to mere slits. A dozen Hareraisers had materialized from his shadow and were skittering to the corners of the room, trying to hide. One wrapped its ears around Ventus’ leg as he got to his feet. His stomach dropped at the sight. Hareraisers were never a good sign.

Sora had also stood up. “Hey, are you okay?” He reached out a hand to grab Vanitas’ shoulder, but the trembling figure flinched away so hard he almost fell out of his chair. His already Sora-sized frame had never looked tinier.

“Sit down,” Ventus said quietly. He pulled his own chair closer while motioning Sora away. Sora backed off as asked, at a complete loss as for what else to do.

“W-what’s wrong with him?” Ventus just shushed him and took his own seat in front of Vanitas, who was shaking like a leaf in an earthquake, eyes unfocused and fingers curled so tightly in the sleeves of his t-shirt that it wouldn’t be surprising if his nails left puncture marks in the fabric.

This was going to be tricky.

“Vanitas?” there was no response, not even an acknowledgement that Vanitas could hear him at all. He slowly reached for Vanitas’ arm, trying to keep his hand within his brother’s field of vision so as not to startle him, but he only retreated even further toward the back of his chair. Ventus waited a minute and tried again, successfully making contact this time. Vanitas shivered at the touch. His skin felt like ice.

“Hey, Vanitas?” His ear twitched at hearing his name. “Can you talk?”

A few tense moments passed. “V-Ventus,” he choked out between gasps. “I-I, I...”

“Can you tell me what’s wrong?”

“Ventus,” he whispered, his eyes full of absolute terror. “Y-you have to leave, he-he’s here...”

Ventus’ heart crept into his throat and he felt his own pulse quicken. What in the world could have set Vanitas off this badly? “N-no, he’s dead.”

“No, Ventus please you h-have to, to leave, h-he’s here and he’ll h-hurt you and you’ll leave a-and then I-I, I’ll, I’ll-“ His already frantic babbling dissolved into quiet sobs. Ventus took Vanitas’ face in his hands, careful to avoid the scars there, hoping to establish eye contact.

“Vanitas.” He took a slow breath, trying to convince himself as much as his brother. “Xehanort is gone. He died. He’s not here. You’re going to be okay.”

Vanitas shuddered as his gaze continued to flicker around the room, searching for shadows that weren’t there.

“Hey, hey, hey, look at me, look at me. I’m here! I’m not leaving.” He finally focused on Ventus’ face, although his eyes looked almost clouded over. “Do you know where we are?”

“Th-the graveyard...”

“Vanitas, you haven’t been to the graveyard in over a month. Do you remember that?

He hesitated, his breath hitching in his throat. He shook his head uncertainly.

“Okay, let’s take another tack. What color are my eyes?”

“G-green...?”

“Good. And what color are your eyes?”

“Yellow...”

“Are you sure?”

He thought about it for a minute, his gaze clearing a little. “They’re... red.”

“Very good.” Ventus gently wiped the tears from Vanitas’ cheeks as the latter sniffed and loosened his grip on his shoulders. “Where are we?”

“The kitchen.”

“Who else is here?”

He looked briefly over at Sora, who had pulled out his gummiphone but was obviously staring at his brothers instead. Immediately upon making eye contact with Vanitas, he turned his head in the opposite direction and pretended to whistle. “Sora.”

“Is there anybody else?”

“...No.”

“Perfect.”

Vanitas pulled away from Ventus and rubbed at his eyes with a shaky hand for a minute. He tried his best to shoot a cocky smile towards Ventus. “Don’t patronize me, idiot.”

Ventus leaned back and let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “Just shut up and drink your hot chocolate. It’ll help you feel better.”

“Whatever.”

They sat in awkward silence for a few minutes, Vanitas sipping his hot chocolate, Sora staring at the ceiling. Vanitas was still wincing a bit from the cramps, but it seemed the worst was over. Ventus had managed to detach the Hareraiser from his leg and it now sat in his lap like a very scared stuffed animal. Vanitas scoffed. “Chirithy will get jealous.” Ventus stuck out his tongue in retaliation.

The other Hareraisers had come out of hiding and gathered around Vanitas, who sighed and dismissed them, the small creatures melting back into his shadow. His hands were still unsteady.  
Frustrated, he set down his mug and shoved them into his armpits, then sat back in his chair with a huff.

Sora rapidly tapped his fingertips on the table, clearly wanting to ask something. He opened his mouth a few times before snapping it shut and averting his gaze entirely. Both Vanitas and Ventus stared at him, but Ventus spoke up first. “Sora?”

Sora jumped, as if he hadn’t been paying attention, although he obviously had been. “Oh, sorry!” He fiddled with his empty cup a bit. “So that was… um… yeah. What… was that, exactly?”

Vanitas frowned. “I was just… thinking.”

“About… him?”

“Who else?”

There were very few secrets between the three of them. Sora and Vanitas had come to a truce during their harrowing week in Shibuya, and it had only taken a few days after they got back for Vanitas to break down and tell Ventus everything. Although, Ventus was starting to think it hadn’t quite been everything.

Remembering what they had been talking about when things started to fall apart, Ventus asked cautiously, “Did he know you’re… uh, trans?”

Vanitas deflated a little. “The Master knew everything, Ventus. But I guess he wasn’t as bad about it as he could’ve been. He only called me a girl when he was ...mad.” He absentmindedly started picking at the scars that littered his arms. Ventus carefully grabbed his hand to prevent him from doing so. They didn’t need him bleeding any more tonight.

As though reading Ventus’ mind, Sora changed the subject. “Vani, are you sure this is your first period? You’re a little old to not have started yet…”

“I’m twenty-eight. That’s old?” He smirked.

“You know what I meant!” Sora crossed his arms petulantly. “But sixteen is still kind of old. I started mine when I was fourteen, and even that’s a bit late.”

Ventus cocked his head. “Wasn’t that when you first left Destiny Islands?”

“Yup. That was quite the hectic trip!”

“Anyway…” Vanitas rolled his eyes. “This is the first time I’ve been aware of. Although with all the blood and chronic pain, I wouldn’t be surprised if it had happened before without me noticing.”

“The start of your period could also have been delayed by malnutrition,” Sora interjected helpfully. Ventus felt a grimace creep onto his face and he gripped his brother’s slender hand a little tighter. Maybe it was time to end this conversation for tonight, before they got any more grim reminders of Xehanort.

“Well, it’s getting pretty late. We’ve got an early day tomorrow, yeah?”

Vanitas reclaimed his hand and set his elbows on the table. “Blatantly untrue. I myself was planning on staying in bed until at least three in the afternoon.” Even later than Ventus had predicted.

“That’s because you never do anything, Vani.” Sora seemed to have an idea. “Speaking of which, I don’t think you and I have had a good conversation since Shibuya.”

“What sort of conversation topic were you considering?” Vanitas narrowed his eyes.

“Well, you seem to still be confused about some gender things, so we could talk about, y’know. Guy stuff.”

Vanitas visibly brightened, an impressive feat for a being of pure darkness. “Guy stuff?”

“Yeah! But Ven should probably leave...”

Vanitas propped his chin on his hand and positively grinned at Ventus. “You heard the man. This is guy stuff, no Ventus allowed.”

Ventus’ first instinct was to protest and bicker until they let him stay, but he decided to leave them alone for the time being. “Okay, fine, I’ll go to bed if you say so. Goodnight.”

“Night, Ven!”

“Don’t let the Heartless bite. What, is that not how the saying goes?”

“That is infinitely more terrifying that the actual saying, Vani.”

He placed his mug in the sink on the way out and made his way back down the hall as two near-identical voices floated behind him.

It had only been a few weeks since Vanitas had shown up on the doorstep with Sora, with a look in his eyes like a cornered animal, not expecting to be forgiven or tolerated. Ventus couldn’t say he’d been doing well, exactly, but they seemed to be progressing towards some sort of normalcy together. Maybe that was enough. If they could manage to talk out some of their issues, that would be even better. But that would have to wait for another day.

For the time being, he climbed back into bed, turned his eyes to the false constellations above him, and settled in for another sleepless night.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh yeah, a clarification: Xehanort isn’t transphobic out of ignorance and doesn’t usually act or think that way towards other people; he’s just doing it as another tactic to make Vanitas feel like crap, hence why the misgendering usually goes hand in hand with ““““discipline””””. That probably just makes it worse, tbh.
> 
> Also! I completely forgot to link the associated art, so here it is!


End file.
